That I love you
by JodieJelloCube
Summary: The Beast was the predator inside himself he couldn't control, but deep down, he would always be Garfield, an insecure boy who was hopelessly in love with Raven. And wasn't man enough to tell her. Because he was BeastBoy.My 'Emotions of the beast' entry.


_**My Entry to the 'Emotions of the beast' Challenge by **__**AkumaKami64**___

_**Set near enough immediately after 'The Beast Within' **_

_**AU style.**_

'_**Faith is unavailable.**____**Lives become incredible.**____**Now please understand that.' – 'Planetary (Go!)' – My Chemical Romance. (**__**Way**__** better in concert by the way.)**_

BeastBoy sighed as he made his way up to the rooftop of Titan's tower. It was a quarter past midnight and he couldn't sleep, it had been mere hours since the 'Beast' had taken over. BeastBoy knew that he hadn't harmed Raven in anyway, but he could have so easily! His body had been taken over and for the first time in his life he'd become a _mindless_ animal. If he didn't love Raven so goddamn much god knows what he would have done to her. He knew that if it had been any other girl, he would have ripped her apart. And a small part of him relished the thought. He shivered in disgust but the beast within him shivered in excitement.

BeastBoy's ears pricked up as he reached the top couple of steps to the roof, he wasn't alone.

"Azarath metrion zinthos. Azarath metrion zinthos. Azarath metrion zinthos." Came a whisper as soft and as quick as a feather lost in a breeze. _Raven._

He pushed the door open; a loud creaking invaded the night air, disturbing Raven's soft murmured chanting. He looked over to where she was levitating about a foot off the roof's ledge. Her cape and hair swirled around her in the night breeze. The moon illuminating her pale skin, she was a picture of tranquillity. The wind wafted her scent over to him and he tensed, experiencing an unexpected, faint urge to phase. He gripped his hair in frustration as he realised why. Her scent was familiar to him, of course, but mere hours ago he had been a predator, her scent now caused an animalistic reaction in him. A small shred of the humanity he'd maintained while being consumed by 'The Beast' had been enough to remind him of his love for Raven, he was certain that had been the only thing that had stopped him for attacking her with no mercy. He had to control it, and he would, for her.

"_That's what makes you a man…"_

Raven's earlier words came to the forefront of his mind, momentarily shutting down all hold the Beast had on him. He was instantly calm.

"BeastBoy? Did you want something?" Raven's voice seemed strained, uncomfortable. Guilt welled within BeastBoy, he didn't want his presence to make her uncomfortable.

"Nah, Rae. I just couldn't sleep. Sorry for disturbing you." He got out rather sheepishly.

"I couldn't sleep either…BeastBoy, would you come sit with me?" She asked tentatively.

BeastBoy made his way over to the ledge, sitting with his legs hanging over; Raven stopped levitating and took a seat beside him. BeastBoy looked over at her, she seemed wary of him, and he hated it. He wanted to plead with her and demand a chance to explain his actions, but how can you justify what you couldn't control? BeastBoy was terrified he'd say something wrong. He was aware of her pulse, the rush of blood beneath her thin skin. The Beast was keeping tabs on it, and every wave of warmth he felt coming from her body heat was like a smack in the face.

_I'm Vegan! And I'm trying to control the urge to treat the woman I love like a piece of tofu!_

"Rae, I'm sorry. So incredibly sorry! I'm not a man! I'll never be a man!" he started out in a whisper but the sentence ended in a growl.

"You saved me Garfield, Adonis is the monster, not you." She tried to reason with him.

_Garfield_. That single word calmed him instantly. That was his name. _Garfield Logan_. He wasn't **Beast**boy. BeastBoy was his superhero persona, The Beast was the predator inside himself he couldn't control, but deep down, he would always be Garfield, an insecure boy who was hopelessly in love with Raven. And wasn't man enough to tell her. Because he was Beast**Boy**

"I'm sorry for snapping at you in the corridor too…" he trailed off, there were so many things he wanted to apologise for.

_Maybe I should just start keeping a list!_

Raven was calm, to calm. He knew it was an act; her heart rate was far too high for her to be at ease. She smiled at him softly, a sign of her forgiveness. BeastBoy realised then that, they were all alone, on a rooftop, in the middle of the night, with no one to stop him if he seized his opportunity to attack.

_No! It's just the beast, it's just the beast…It's just the beast!_

His emotions were plagued by darkness, The Beast's hunger becoming too much to bear as BeastBoy's common sense and love battled side by side for control. BeastBoy for a second wondered if this was how Raven felt every minute of every day as she struggled with her own emotions. His love for her and his human beliefs were the only things keeping him in his place.

**But, ****she**** doesn't love you.**

The Beast's thought burst through BeastBoy, his whole body snapped at that, releasing something so primal that his humanity was a whimper in the corner of his mind, a far cry from what he was doing. He pounced at Raven, wrestling her to the floor and pinning her by her arms as his eyes lost their light. Raven stared up at the face of pure evil, an almighty predator. The face of the boy she loved…

She whimpered beneath him as his fingers became claws cutting through her uniform and into her flesh like she was butter. Her eyes full of pain, terror, shock, confusion, and despite it all, **love.**

BeastBoy leaned in, his nose running up and down her neck, breathing in her scent, feeling her warmth, hearing her pulse. She was everywhere and he was beyond reason. Raven bit into her lip to stop from crying out. She believed in him, she trusted him, she loved him. She had complete faith that he would pull through this, no matter what pain she had to endure until then.

"Garfield…" She whimpered, and BeastBoy's face became perfectly blank for a short second, the light returned to his eyes and he stared down at his now blood-covered fingers, the gashes in Raven's uniform barely concealed the wounds he'd inflicted.

"Rae…" He choked out; he leapt off of her, curling himself into a ball, sobbing with shame and regret. He'd hurt her. He'd _hurt_ Raven. _Raven._

"BeastBoy, I know that wasn't you. And the fact that you reined it in, that you tamed it, makes you more of a man than you already were." She whispered, her voice was thick with supressed emotion, her calm resolve utterly shattered.

BeastBoy couldn't believe what she'd said, it was near enough the same thing he'd told her earlier that evening when they'd sat on the rocks, but still, he couldn't understand how she could feel that way.

"I am _not_ a man! If I was a man I'd be able to tell you…" He trailed off as his anger faded, he very nearly just blurted out his feelings for her. But, he'd stopped himself again, in fear, like a child.

"Tell me what BB?" she whispered, placing her hand on his shoulder, wincing from the pain in her arm as she moved it.

When he raised his head to look in her eyes, he no longer had any doubts, at all. He could practically feel The Beast being caged somewhere deep inside him, never to be released. Raven's eyes, of deep violet, burning into his with such intensity that neither of them could look away. He brought his lips to brush hers for such a short second that Raven didn't know whether it had actually happened. BeastBoy looked down, a blush prominent on his features.

"That I love you."


End file.
